Review: ‘Marry Me’ will make you want to do that shit.

In a way you probably won’t regret.

Just in case you’re one of those ‘bare bones’ people who just want to know if a movie is worth watching or not, without a care in the world for nuance, here’s what you need to know: this is a very charming movie.

And now, for those who care for the meaty aspects (I have no idea why I keep making these food-related references), here’s why I think the movie is what I said it is.

It’s no news that Jennifer Lopez can act and this is by far her easiest role ever because she pretty much played herself — a pop star on the verge of yet another marriage after experiencing setbacks with former adventures. Very familiar.

Alongside Owen Wilson, superb in the role of a dorky single who is suddenly thrust into the limelight, you get to enjoy a chemistry that is unbelievably good. Nothing felt forced or contrived.

A side note on Owen Wilson: he gets all the plaudits for his comedy that it’s easy to forget how good he is in other genres, like Behind Enemy Lines (2001, thanks, Tosin) or Marvel’s Loki series (2021) where he played Mobius Mobius of the Time Variance Authority.

Ah, geeking out again, are we? I apologise.

There were a number of things that endeared this film to me but this right here, is what I like the most - the patient buildup. There were pockets of quiet moments between Jennifer and Wilson that just convey a feeling of endearing tenderness. Together, J.Lo and Owen bring a mature sweetness and a feeling of calm in the connection between Charlie and Kat that we do not usually see in rom-coms and it is an absolute joy to watch.

Maybe it’s the 30+ in me talking but that element of seasoned patience offered a nice contrast to the usual frantic emotions of most love stories you get to see on screen.

In addition, I did like how the movie subtly hit at the societal norm of women having to wait to be picked of to get into relationships, basically ceding the initiative and audacity to men. That’s by the way but still, why wait to be ‘picked’? Shoot your shot.

I digress, I know. Can’t help it sometimes.

Yes, it’s formulaic, in that you see the familiar tones and beats found in almost every romantic comedy. However, Marry Me stands out by deftly avoiding the most common pitfalls of the rom-com genre (they’re not necessarily pitfalls but I think they’re quire lazy and could be done without). There are no silly misunderstandings, no contrived situations, or the customary cardboard addition of awful people. The conflict part of the movie felt quite natural and didn’t have to rely on those painfully bad setups or moments that give the viewer a degree of second-hand embarrassment.

Overall, watching Marry Me feels like a well-done piece of Valentine’s Day cake or some Hans and Rene ice cream. I’ll explain: it doesn’t exactly offer any nutritional benefit in that you’re likely not going to find any 'deep' whatever; however, like that piece of cake or cup of ice cream, it tastes absolutely fantastic.

And if you’ve got a sweet tooth like me, that’s all you need to hear before you dig in.

After all, there’s enough craziness in the world already so… who depth don epp?

And God, the music!!!

Anyway, go see it for yourself and thank or curse me later.